Kryptonite
by picaropicara
Summary: [Oneshot] I am willing to sacrifice so much for you, always for you...but can I sacrifice all this? Suggested by Episode 21, Spoilers for Ep 21. Not Elricest.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA. This fic was based on the song Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down. The lyrics version is available here: http/starfelt . livejournal . com /237479 . html

Enjoy the fic.

"You can't say no." Lust beckoned with one, long finger.

They tossed him in front of him like a rag doll, bound and helpless.

"AL!"

Al watched helplessly, unable to do anything. He struggled, crying out for Ed again and again. He could see the pain, the heat in his eyes as he called back. It hurt so much, inside his being, that memory of himself. Inside his cool metal he was screaming, yelling for help from anyone, anywhere.

"Don't do it Nii-san! I DON'T CARE. PLEASE! NII-SAN!"

The foot hit him with the soft sound of meat and bone connecting. He fell, gasping for breath, his vision sliding in and out of focus. The huge grey shape blurred in and out, two white sparks burning into his brain.

_Al. Niisan._

The foot hit him again and he struggled to keep his eyes open, staring right into Al's. He could hear the voice calling him, begging for him to stay concious. Red glinted off the armour, sparkling through the haze. Behind him he could feel the glow of the circle, melting into him, calling him.

_This could be the end. This could be the end of our journey, our troubles. I could give him a body. I could return that. But...it's made with humans. Could I do that? Could I touch that dark side? Would I do that for Nii-san?_

_Would he forgive me for doing it._

A memory floated into his mind...Al with the kitten.

"But Nii-san, it was shivering!"

Al. The compassionate one, the sensible one. The good one. Tears stung his face as the memories flooded in. At the circle, that THING behind him, Al, reaching out and then disappearing. Ed felt the indescribable sorrow again.

Their fingers centimetres apart, Al calling for him, stretching as he melted into the incandescence, the black claws pulling him back. His eyes. His eyes at that moment...Ed still saw them every time he closed his eyes, everytime he looked up into the cold armour face all he could see was his Al. With it, that question. It plagued him at night, when the moonlight gleamed off Al and in the day, when they laughed at the sun spots reflecting away from his waving arms.

_Do you...hate me?_

He squeezed his eyes shut. If Al hated him then he couldn't live, wouldn't live. He'd do anything to keep Al.

Al looked inside himself for the faded memories. Learning alchemy together, Nii-san guiding his hands. He was there when he cried, there when he couldn't make it work right. There when it did, smiling, clapping. He was there through the fights and the crying. He always remembered looking up into his brother's face, always looking up, in awe, in happiness. Ed had become everthing after Mother died. Now he always looked down, down into his face, filled with pain and fear and determination, striving towards their sole goal. Ed, his hero.

Ed rose slowly.

"If I turn all these incomplete objects into something complete...I can create the Philosopher's Stone." Tucker's rasp buzzed in his ears.

_I could complete Al._

He glared at his hands weakly. They were talking behind him, encouraging him.

"It's not something normal alchemists can do. But you...you can do it."

_I am not a normal alchemist. I saved Al. I survived human transmutation. _

_"Was it worth it? Condemning him to life inside an empty shell?"_ A mocking voice crept into his skull, like Envy, like Lust purring doubts into his mind.

"NII-SAN"

The voice came like a shockwave to his heart. It hurt more than anything, more than the pain of losing his limbs, more than the pain of automail. More than the pain of losing Mother. It pounded him, shaking him up.

_I'm losing my mind. Torn between the two. Brother...or murder._

He clenched his fists.

_I'm not as strong as you think!_

His mind screamed over and over and he wept like a child, Envy laughing at his tears, Lust abusing them.

_You're all that holds me together_

He mentally screamed at Al, begging for him to understand the look in his eyes.

_You have no idea. We journeyed for so long, and you're the reason why. You're the reason I'm here, wandering, looking for something to cure YOU._

He shook violently.

_You don't know that. They do. _

He looked up and stared into the face of Lust, smirking down at him as she stroked the blood bond.

"Please! STOP! Don't hurt my brother."

_You never realised that that's exactly what you are. You're my strength...and you're my weakness. He almost fell again. They took you away and I came running and now...Now I will do what they want._

Al's whimper cut through him like a knife.

He stroked a cylinder.

_Slicer said these lives have no value. But if they don't...neither does Nii. He's just one of these droplets. A life. A soul. Then Slicer had died. Unable to defend himself, he had died. He would never let that happen to Nii-san. Not after he'd protected him for so long._

The doubt returned.

_"Protected him? Pah! You let this happen to him. Pathetic."_

_If not for me, he'd be dead._

_"If not for you he'd be alive! He'd have a body!"_

He acceded to this.

_He'd be alive, if it weren't for me and my meddling. _

He struggled to contain his anger, his emotions, everything to do with this. It was always there, that niggling at the back of his mind. That GUILT. He placed his hands together.

"NII-SAN!"

Al watched in horror, unable to help, unable to do anything more than hope. No. Trust in Ed. Through everything, even through Barry's assaults and doubts, he'd kept trust in Ed.

Lust floated through his memory, laughing, as she laughed at his brother.  
"In front of me there's a boy who has only his soul."  
Her cackles thundered on.

_But that's not true. I have Nii-san. He is...everything._  
He closed his eyes and waited for the right decision.

Ed looked back once.


End file.
